i would dare to suggest that my college campus does fall better than any other campus in the midwest. 
planted on the rumored site of prehistoric glacial activity, the hills of augustana college make for a winter nuisance (read: my car sliding perpendicularly down a street bordering campus, my attempts to pump the brake useless) and an autumn indulgence.
b and i made the trek back to rock island for a halloween extravaganza, fitting in a short walk on campus before heading back to the northland on sunday. the experience brought about a nostalgia that i never expected to feel while enrolled as a student there. always anxious for movement, i figured i’d run screaming into the adult world. i’m not sure what i expected to find there, but it is definitely a horse of a different color.
the beauty of the college experience is that we are such a living, breathing part of it, that it is nearly impossible to see it or appreciate it, while it is happening. if we were to get metacognitive about it, we’d likely ruin the purity of our trudge out of teenage angst and into our looser, grownup skins.
watching the few students that were up and about at 10:30 on a sunday, completing their “walks of shame” or heading out for breakfast, you realize how that place goes on without you. suddenly your place belongs to someone new, little changed but everything different. they are skipping class, staying up late, drinking too much, struggling with literary analysis, finding themselves, cramming for finals, questioning their faith, enjoying a quiet moment in the library, and falling in love. they, like yourself at 19, are unaware at how fortunate they are to be inundated with information and opportunities. under the pressure cooker, they are never the same people for long. as adults, we are often more shelf-stable.

while my desire to return to college life is starting to dull to a throb rather than sting, the quad cities still make me homesick. a chicago suburbanite from birth, i had no idea that four years in the QCA would have me in tears when i packed my u-haul for the move to wisconsin. local color is everything and the quad cities has it. while the QCA is not without its grit and closedmindedness, i have yet to find a burrito that compares to la rancherita’s for the price, a coffee shop with a blues guitarist like Ellis Kell, or a microbrewery with the “live and let live” atmosphere of Blue Cat or Bent River. i am hard pressed to find the cast of characters i encountered daily while i lived in the QCA full time. i cannot find a vendor with dirt under his fingernails at the farmer’s market downtown. i cannot ride my bike along one of the biggest rivers in the united states to work from wisconsin.
the mississippi has a deep, melancholic feel. standing on its banks you feel instantly connected to every place it has been and is going. you are huck finn, lewis and clark, and a riverboat captain. i’ve been low-income citizens near the dam, reeling in polluted fish to 5 gallon buckets while the pelicans stand by. i’ve seen it flood the first two blocks of the city of davenport after heavy snowmelt. i’ve seen it still like glass at dawn and rippled by the wind midwinter. i’ve dunked my feet and chased huge farm geese under the I-74 bridge. i’ve thought about how that river helped build the midwest region i know so well. i’ve biked (unintentionally) through a riverside swarm of mayflies in august and waited 30 minutes for a barge to pass through the arsenal bridge. i’ve crossed it daily and absorbed a new perspective like a sponge.
i am a young soul in love with old things. i am anxious, unsettled, progressive, and temperamental but i am always grasping helplessly at the past. trying to hook a history place context to this personality i know. context is important to identity, so are rivers. langston hughes knew his shit. while i cannot identify with him from a racial perspective, this poem never fails to make me feel more connected to humanity.
The Negro Speaks of Rivers by Langston Hughes
I’ve known rivers:
I’ve know rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young.
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I’ve seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset.
I’ve known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.